Ask Morgana 227: African heritage and the D/s Lifestyle

I’m taking a moment out from my series of presentations of beautiful people to address a question put to me by a correspondent, who wanted to know how people of African heritage reacted to matters of the Dominance/submission lifestyle. “After all,” said my correspondent, “some people who are deep into your lifestyle take on the roles of mistress and slave. Surely that would be a matter of controversy for anyone of a race that has a history of enduring generations of actual slavery.”

I didn’t consider myself to be in a position to answer that, as I am from the UK, have no African heritage, and no close cultural contact with the aftermath of slavery. So I raised the issue with someone else, an acquaintance of mine who is both African-American and a well-respected Domme. I reproduce her words below:

As I mentioned, it is ironic you reached out to me regarding this topic. I had a similar discussion with someone else only the day before. Anyway enough with the small talk.

I do not claim to speak for or even be the best representative of an African American involved in Lifestyle as my situation may differ from many. Firstly, I am a lesbian which in itself is a microcosm of the Lifestyle community. Second, the vast majority of my interaction is done within Caucasian community. This does not mean I am completely unaware of how other African Americans within the Lifestyle community interact. I have attended many events locally and nationally where a diverse gathering of people, attitudes, and social interactions are going on. I have found a great number of African American’s who are involved in Lifestyle prefer to engage with other People of Colour. I think in part this is a direct result of the very question you asked, because of America’s history of slavery. In speaking with individuals I have met (both men and women, gay and straight) it seems African American heterosexuals within Lifestyle almost exclusively stick with partners of the same race. There is more latitude with African American gay men. They seem more willing to submit to a man outside their race. African American lesbians within Lifestyle at a very high percent stay within their race. I am very much the odd duck… and let me tell you I have been questioned and ridiculed by other women of colour for my decision. You have known me many years as I said above and you are aware in most situation I am usually not in a submissive role when it comes to Lifestyle. At best I am a Switch but rarely exclusively have I been submissive. As far as being taken as a “slave” by my Mistress there was only one person and at the time I had no hesitation doing so. I did not look at her and see her colour, I looked to her as my Mistress whom I served with loyalty, pride, and respect to the best of my abilities. Her race was not a factor for me nor do I feel it should be. If someone has already entered into a D/s relationship with someone the level of trust shared between one another should be devoid of such issues and if it is an issue it should have been discussed prior to the relationship going too far.

African Americans who are not a part of the Lifestyle community condemn and vilify those who are. This in part is the general public’s lack of understanding as to what Lifestyle truly is, opposed to what they believe it to be. Add that lack of understanding to a culture forever connected to one of the one of the darkest periods of history where inhuman treatment was regularly inflicted upon one group of people by another and you find anger. As an African American woman involved in Lifestyle I am seen by some as self-hating, disturbed, an “Uncle Tom”, or an “Oreo”.

Morgana here again. I can attest to the fact that my sister is none of the things she cites in her final sentence. Anyhow, I hope that answers my correspondent’s question.

Don’t forget, if any of you wish to ask me anything, please do get in touch. My email details are on the ‘Contact me’ page.

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